Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sleep Deprivation in Adults-Disorder
Sleep is an ellusive thing...especially if you have children..(i'll finish this later..my children have moved away and now i can get some sleep.) heheheh.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Mess Gnome and Creatures
Gnomes....
Gnomes are little people who live in the woods....
Ok here is how it goes down. See I am a gnome, and I am in a little trouble right now.
There I was minding my own business after visiting my cousin. Really, I only stayed a little while drank some summer wine and told a few good stories and sang some bawdy songs my grandfather taught me. Some thing about a maid and walking down the lane to meet a lad...anyway it was later than usual and
I had to get home, so I said my goodbyes and headed into the dark night.
Now i'm not one to be afraid to walk in the dark and Gnomes are known for our good night vision. It must have been the wine that gave me that careless feeling and having less caution than i normally have that got me into this frightful position.
I live in an area filled with the most wonderful creatures and also some of the most evil and deadliest. Tonight it was one of the evil and deadly kind of creatures...Ogres.....
Ogres stink and have terrible manners as well as eat all kinds of horrid things, even each other. We gnomes seem to be a favorite snack...too small for a meal but we must ease the digestion... This rarely happens but i have heard stories that would shake you to your marrow.
Well, i'll tell you. It was frightening to not notice a foul creature such as a ogre sneaking up on a person such as myself. Imagine my surprise that i found myself not with one but a whole tribe out looking to do great evil in the land.
I remember the holidays as a child searching for the hidden piece of candy in the house with my 13 brothers and sisters and all my cousins and being the poor soul who found it and the pile of bodies as all tried to get it for themselves.
I was caught in the fist of a filthy beast, the pile of bodies on top of me was overwhelming, as was the stench...finally a calm settled as the largest and strongest of the beasts beat a few heads in and claimed me as his prize...
"IT MINE" grunted the largest, while not the leader, he was the most feared.
Raising his fist, shaking it and me, high into the night air.
"I EAT IT AFTER MEAL" he said mostly to himself. Grabbing a large dirty sheet he bundled me up like a cookie in a hankey and dropped me to the ground.
Why did i ever leave my cousin tonight? I could have had a warm bed and only a slight headache in the morning...
I started thinking again, the night air and the fright had finally cleared my head.
"Ok", I thought, "what do you have to get out of this fine mess?"
Inventory: Two Coppers
A River Rock
One Button that came lose from my shirt
Lint
Aunt Minerva's little fire stick....
Hmmmm....It just might work....
I wiggled and squirmed until i got my hand free and the stick was in my hand...Aiming was important in this one... I found my target and let fly with my magic. BOOOMMMM. It was done.
I had time to work free while the Ogres were preoccupied with the change of events. I heard a general rustle of movement toward where my magic had found it's mark and the beat of fists on iron and a yell of rage that quickly turned to shouts and then cries that rose in earnest pleas.
I couldn't help but laugh just a little for the turn of events as well as some slight pity for the poor soul.
Aunt Minerva is a kindly old gnome that loves me dearly but is a little daft. She has always feared that i will come to a bad end and starve to death. I find her concern quite endearing but her help a little bit off... I could use a wand that gave me money or conjure food. That would be quite practical but that was not what i got....She had the oldest gnome in the forest create a wand that could not be lost(i missplace things alot) and would bring a fire and cookpot to where it was pointed. It sounded good in theory....but reality is really twisted....Old Man Thomas was a little hard of hearing. When she said she wanted a cookfire for my house that would last a hundred years.... he heard it quite differently.
I have a semi useless wand that creates a giant cookfire with an ironpot as big as a house that can cook 100 STEERS.
I can't get rid of it.
As I ran as quick as i could away from the noise, i could hear the smack of lips in anticipation of a fine meal for ogres. i imagine that the fire under the pot was getting pretty hot by now and the largest ogre knew without a doubt he was the supper for the rest of the dinner party.
Gnomes are little people who live in the woods....
Ok here is how it goes down. See I am a gnome, and I am in a little trouble right now.
There I was minding my own business after visiting my cousin. Really, I only stayed a little while drank some summer wine and told a few good stories and sang some bawdy songs my grandfather taught me. Some thing about a maid and walking down the lane to meet a lad...anyway it was later than usual and
I had to get home, so I said my goodbyes and headed into the dark night.
Now i'm not one to be afraid to walk in the dark and Gnomes are known for our good night vision. It must have been the wine that gave me that careless feeling and having less caution than i normally have that got me into this frightful position.
I live in an area filled with the most wonderful creatures and also some of the most evil and deadliest. Tonight it was one of the evil and deadly kind of creatures...Ogres.....
Ogres stink and have terrible manners as well as eat all kinds of horrid things, even each other. We gnomes seem to be a favorite snack...too small for a meal but we must ease the digestion... This rarely happens but i have heard stories that would shake you to your marrow.
Well, i'll tell you. It was frightening to not notice a foul creature such as a ogre sneaking up on a person such as myself. Imagine my surprise that i found myself not with one but a whole tribe out looking to do great evil in the land.
I remember the holidays as a child searching for the hidden piece of candy in the house with my 13 brothers and sisters and all my cousins and being the poor soul who found it and the pile of bodies as all tried to get it for themselves.
I was caught in the fist of a filthy beast, the pile of bodies on top of me was overwhelming, as was the stench...finally a calm settled as the largest and strongest of the beasts beat a few heads in and claimed me as his prize...
"IT MINE" grunted the largest, while not the leader, he was the most feared.
Raising his fist, shaking it and me, high into the night air.
"I EAT IT AFTER MEAL" he said mostly to himself. Grabbing a large dirty sheet he bundled me up like a cookie in a hankey and dropped me to the ground.
Why did i ever leave my cousin tonight? I could have had a warm bed and only a slight headache in the morning...
I started thinking again, the night air and the fright had finally cleared my head.
"Ok", I thought, "what do you have to get out of this fine mess?"
Inventory: Two Coppers
A River Rock
One Button that came lose from my shirt
Lint
Aunt Minerva's little fire stick....
Hmmmm....It just might work....
I wiggled and squirmed until i got my hand free and the stick was in my hand...Aiming was important in this one... I found my target and let fly with my magic. BOOOMMMM. It was done.
I had time to work free while the Ogres were preoccupied with the change of events. I heard a general rustle of movement toward where my magic had found it's mark and the beat of fists on iron and a yell of rage that quickly turned to shouts and then cries that rose in earnest pleas.
I couldn't help but laugh just a little for the turn of events as well as some slight pity for the poor soul.
Aunt Minerva is a kindly old gnome that loves me dearly but is a little daft. She has always feared that i will come to a bad end and starve to death. I find her concern quite endearing but her help a little bit off... I could use a wand that gave me money or conjure food. That would be quite practical but that was not what i got....She had the oldest gnome in the forest create a wand that could not be lost(i missplace things alot) and would bring a fire and cookpot to where it was pointed. It sounded good in theory....but reality is really twisted....Old Man Thomas was a little hard of hearing. When she said she wanted a cookfire for my house that would last a hundred years.... he heard it quite differently.
I have a semi useless wand that creates a giant cookfire with an ironpot as big as a house that can cook 100 STEERS.
I can't get rid of it.
As I ran as quick as i could away from the noise, i could hear the smack of lips in anticipation of a fine meal for ogres. i imagine that the fire under the pot was getting pretty hot by now and the largest ogre knew without a doubt he was the supper for the rest of the dinner party.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
mmmmmm.....PIE....
Pie...
Apple,Cherry,Pumpkin,Peach,BlueBerry,Blackberry,Raspberry,Sweet Potato, Strawberry,Elderberry,MinceMeat,Rhubarb(not a favorite),Pecan,Buttermilk,Lemon,Key Lime,Chocolate Pudding,Banana Split, and any other flavor you can think of.
I like pie... It has brought many pleasant memories, changed strangers into friends and even got me a job once.(more about that another day)
I'm not talking about the pie served at McDonalds but a real pie made by someone who can cook with love. Pie can be awesome. Food is a social event to gather (hungry) people together. What can be better than a group of hungry people cutting a slice of pie from the whole and eating a piece.
Pie is the ultimate.
We all like the first piece.
There is nothing like the picture of a uncut pie.
I like to go back for seconds.
Juicy on the inside.
We like to lick the plate and nibble at the crust.
Tastes better with cream.
Any size will do, but the bigger the better.
We can eat it anytime...morning, noon or night.
I like to try new flavors.
I've been known to have eaten two pies at one time.
...it's all about the pie....
The world is a better place with pie in it and in me.
Next Blog....Little Gnome Facts and Fiction....
Apple,Cherry,Pumpkin,Peach,BlueBerry,Blackberry,Raspberry,Sweet Potato, Strawberry,Elderberry,MinceMeat,Rhubarb(not a favorite),Pecan,Buttermilk,Lemon,Key Lime,Chocolate Pudding,Banana Split, and any other flavor you can think of.
I like pie... It has brought many pleasant memories, changed strangers into friends and even got me a job once.(more about that another day)
I'm not talking about the pie served at McDonalds but a real pie made by someone who can cook with love. Pie can be awesome. Food is a social event to gather (hungry) people together. What can be better than a group of hungry people cutting a slice of pie from the whole and eating a piece.
Pie is the ultimate.
We all like the first piece.
There is nothing like the picture of a uncut pie.
I like to go back for seconds.
Juicy on the inside.
We like to lick the plate and nibble at the crust.
Tastes better with cream.
Any size will do, but the bigger the better.
We can eat it anytime...morning, noon or night.
I like to try new flavors.
I've been known to have eaten two pies at one time.
...it's all about the pie....
The world is a better place with pie in it and in me.
Next Blog....Little Gnome Facts and Fiction....
Friday, September 26, 2008
Well, First a few simple words...
Cat
Dog
Pig
Boy
Duh....
Well, here goes some silly nonsense...
I have just started this for the deep intellectual thoughts occuring in my head. Sometimes they actually make some sense. I usually have bursts of great ideas and dreams that are suddenly dashed to dust by the misfortunes of life. That's when the real fun begins, I like to make fun of them to distract myself from total dispair. Being a man causes one to internalize his feelings until they leak out somewhere else, you see it in the news all the time.(Read the Headlines...most are about men who have lost it.
I feel that it can be controlled by massive doses of Prozac and/or a glass of milk and a cookie.
Don't laugh..
Don't pick on the advantages of cookies...Don't tell any Scientologists either....they might set Tom Cruise after the Keebler elves...
Real Men don't cry...we swallow our tears and to keep them from causing us intestinal problems we MUST eat cookies...with or without milk,coffee or any preferred beverage. To soak up the tears.... It is a scientific fact reproducible in the lab...drop off a box and see what happens...the majority of women will turn away, eating a celery stick and shaking their head, a man on a strict diet will go for the cookie forgoing the celery every time, except when his significant other is watching. In a large group of men all will at least take one, being sure to leave one for every man.
Men know what happens when the tears aren't soaked up...They read the paper...
While not adkins friendly, it is an important part of a man's diet...
mmmmmmm
COOKIES!
Then next blog will be the advantages of pie and it's effect on society...
Dog
Pig
Boy
Duh....
Well, here goes some silly nonsense...
I have just started this for the deep intellectual thoughts occuring in my head. Sometimes they actually make some sense. I usually have bursts of great ideas and dreams that are suddenly dashed to dust by the misfortunes of life. That's when the real fun begins, I like to make fun of them to distract myself from total dispair. Being a man causes one to internalize his feelings until they leak out somewhere else, you see it in the news all the time.(Read the Headlines...most are about men who have lost it.
I feel that it can be controlled by massive doses of Prozac and/or a glass of milk and a cookie.
Don't laugh..
Don't pick on the advantages of cookies...Don't tell any Scientologists either....they might set Tom Cruise after the Keebler elves...
Real Men don't cry...we swallow our tears and to keep them from causing us intestinal problems we MUST eat cookies...with or without milk,coffee or any preferred beverage. To soak up the tears.... It is a scientific fact reproducible in the lab...drop off a box and see what happens...the majority of women will turn away, eating a celery stick and shaking their head, a man on a strict diet will go for the cookie forgoing the celery every time, except when his significant other is watching. In a large group of men all will at least take one, being sure to leave one for every man.
Men know what happens when the tears aren't soaked up...They read the paper...
While not adkins friendly, it is an important part of a man's diet...
mmmmmmm
COOKIES!
Then next blog will be the advantages of pie and it's effect on society...
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